Putting our gratitude into action for a truly life-saving act.

Much as I would like to make this weekly entry of my blog page one that has a topic or teaching point that is not about me or one that is mainly revelatory about myself, causing this to be mistaken as a blog with an exhibitionistic nature, I do find that there are times and events of my own life that when revealed and shared on a relevant platform, could hopefully end up benefitting my readers than if I were to merely keep them to myself.  This is perhaps one such entry, and I beg the pardon of those who think this may be a bit over indulgent on my part. 

Our journeys in life invariably involve quite often, the meeting or encounter with another significant human being which affects one’s life either positively or negatively.  The social media is replete with acrimonious examples and stories of people who have caused anguish, melancholy, anxiety and grief in the lives of others.  By putting such stories on ‘grand display’, many bear the secret hope that those reading will sympathize with them and feel their seething anger.  The other hope would be that they would also garner some supporters along the way, making them fellow ‘haters’ of a now shared common ‘enemy’.  It often further promotes the false security of our side being the ‘right’ or ‘good’ side, and our interlocutors being the ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ one. 

I do believe that part of our task in this world as Christ’s light bearers is to do just the opposite when we have the opportunity to, especially when our stories and encounters bring much needed hope to a suffering humanity, which sometimes seems so devoid of true stories of charity, generosity, patience, hope and selfless love.  My blog entry this week will highlight that these wonderfully Christ-like values have been encountered by me in one such person, and that his act of valour and courage needs to be recorded for various reasons.  He has a name, and his name (yes, his real name) is Peter.

After more than a year since my life-saving stem cell transplant, the rules protecting the anonymity of donor and recipient become abrogated.  The donor and the recipient can sign forms that formally allow our contact details to be released to each other, giving them the freedom and opportunity to contact one another if they so wish.  I signed this form after July 25 this year, and was waiting to see if my donor would do the same.  It was with great delight that I received a lengthy email just two days ago from this significant human being who God had placed in my life, as Randy Goodrum wrote in his song “You needed me”, to “give me hope when life was at the end”. 

I shall not reveal much about Peter and his personal details here, to protect and preserve his privacy.  But his act of remarkable selflessness deserves, I believe, a public act of gratitude simply because mere thanks coming from me doesn’t quite show the impact that such a wonderful gesture of kindness creates in the world of the recipient of such Christ-like altruism.  These ripples of love and waves of life that have emitted from a seeming small act of giving something so needed by another human being spread far and wide, and it is through his act of kindness that many of you, my readers have seen grace working powerfully in my life.  This act of kindness has been instrumental in giving my life a much hoped-for extension, and for giving me back to my family, my community and to those I serve.

To save a friend’s life is wonderful and noble.  I have no doubt that anyone seeing a friend or relative needing something of his or her own (like a stem cell donation) would go through the discomfort and inconvenience of such a procedure.  When I needed the perfect match for my cancer-filled marrow to be replaced by a healthy one, many parishioners wanted to be that match, but nature doesn’t allow us to make the decisions.  Many seemed to have the ‘condition’ that if they did this, they wanted to choose who it was that would be the beneficiary of their giving.  But stem cells do not work this way. 

In God’s ‘inscrutable’ ways, this can only be possible if donor and recipient’s Human Leukocyte Antigen (HLA) markers match perfectly.  In short, it is what we have inherently given by nature (like our DNA) that determines if we have what it takes to save the life of another person.  There are altogether about 2,500 HLA markers that make up a person’s HLA type.  To be a suitable (or perfect) match, only 10 of the most important markers need to match, risking great rejection issues for the recipient if just one of these fail to match.  My search for a suitable match was brought to an international level when the local register failed to find this match.  It was finally found half a world away in Peter, who became significantly, my lifesaver. 

To do this for a total stranger whom one may never know is a grand gesture of benevolence, which literally means ‘good willingness’ of another human being.  Receiving thanks from me alone would be expected, as I often say that gratitude has to form the very basis of our being able to live in any state of grace, as both gratitude and grace stem from the same root, linguistically and fundamentally. 

Peter’s story is remarkable for various reasons, one of which is that it is living proof that just because one has done a good and kind deed, that it does not mean that all things in life henceforth would be without challenges and further trials.  Not long after he had donated his stem cells to me, his family suffered a crisis of sorts, where his own child became sick, and his doctors simply could not find out what it was that was plaguing the child.  The family entered into a time of darkness and agony but they knew that they had to depend on the mercy and love of God to see them through.  Thankfully, after about two months, this child of his has since made a full recovery. 

There are many different motives for people to do the things that they do.  What touched me very much about Peter's story is that he revealed to me how he lost his childhood friend to Leukaemia in their teenage years.  The two of them had run in relay races, and passed the baton to one another as part of their routine.  When Peter received notice that there was a stem cell donation needed from someone for whom he was a possible match, memories of his friend came to mind.  While it must have been terrible and tragic to have lost a friend when one was in one's formative years, it does seem that even an event as dark and bleak as this does have an unexpected bright side.  It motivated and moved Peter to put aside any discomfort or inconvenience on his part in the harvesting and donation process, and put the needs of another human being in front of his.  In his saving act, Peter has also handed me the baton to allow me to continue my run in life.  

I have written much and reflected upon the challenges of living a Christ-like life since I began this weekly blog five years ago.  I do not ask much of my readers, and haven’t made personal requests.  I appreciate and treasure each comment that is written as it shows that you are not merely passive readers.  You are participating in my life.  But I make an exception this week.  For those of you who are as grateful as I am for having my life given back, to receive another chance at living life, to continue to walk in the love and grace of God, please write something that expresses this gratitude to Peter.  My words of thanks may show my personal gratitude, but I believe he and his family, and many other potential lifesavers would benefit from seeing a similar gratitude to Peter.  His act of compassion and magnanimity has given me back to you, and you will never know how far your words of gratitude will touch his life and the life of others.  His community will definitely benefit from this gesture of affirmation coming from strangers who he has touched with his giving.

There is too much wastage of good ice and water being thrown over peoples’ heads these days to show support for a good cause.  Perhaps it is time to cover now a total stranger with something far better and more loving – take a moment and please make that effort to cover Peter and his loving family with some words of thanks together with me. 

Peter, from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you and have you know that you are greatly loved not just by me, but my many others because of your act of kindness and selfless generosity.  Thank you for being Christ to one who was on the cross. 

Perhaps listening to this song reminds us of how we do need one another in life.