I was recently asked if I could write about how one should be making
regular confessions when one doesn’t have major sins to bring up to the
confessor. Regular confession indeed
does have a value that many Catholics don’t consider on a regular basis. Like an unused treasure of immense value in
one’s possession, I can see that very few Catholics are truly aware of how
availing themselves to this on a regular basis can aid them in the most
important task of their lives – to live sanctified and holy lives.
As a confessor, I really can understand the fact that going into the
Confessional is not often seen as an exciting thing. It’s not like as if one gets a buzz the way
that going through the turnstiles of Disneyland gives a buzz to children or
those who are young at heart. Rather,
because one is grappling with the reality that one hasn’t quite lived up to the
high calling of a child of God, one is understandably dealing with various
degrees of feelings of guilt, shame, discomfort, embarrassment and being
tongue-tied in trying to articulate one’s transgressions and shortcomings. So, the confessor-priest is fully aware of
how the penitent feels. We may not show
it, but we know it, and God forgive us priests who may show impatience with
penitents just because they are very regular at confessions. As a priest, I aim to treat each penitent as
someone with an inestimable value for God because I am certain that no saint is
in heaven because they stayed away from this sacrament while they were living.
In a way, it is easier to confess having committed those
“big-ticket” sins because they are rather ‘cut-and-dry’. But I think the challenge comes to those who
want to be regular with the celebration of this Sacrament, but find it
difficult to name any of those cardinal sins which cut one’s spiritual
connection with God in a serious way, the way mortal sins do. The way we sinners struggle with the little,
seemingly insignificant ones show a sincerity of heart that must delight God.
Perhaps we need to understand that this Sacrament is not only for
serious sins. This sacrament helps us to
maintain a strong connection with God’s love and it gives us Sanctifying Grace. Sanctifying Grace is the grace of God which
helps us, as the word implies, to live a sanctified and holy life. Every time a penitent ends the confession
with the Act of Contrition and hears the words of Absolution given by the
priest, his ability to stand ‘right’ in God’s love is renewed. In that state, one is able to be more
resolute in his task of being Christ in the ways that he lives – from being a
good parent, a loving and faithful spouse, a responsible citizen who doesn’t
flout rules, and living with charity and love.
Each time we fall short of living the sanctified life, we set up, as
it were, layers of insulation that puts a distance between God’s love and
us. It’s not that God doesn’t want us to
be close to him. His love, as we know,
is eternal. Nothing can make God love us
less, and nothing we do can make God love us more. But when we sin, or when we fail to love
(which is what sin is at its roots), it shows that we love God less than we
ought. We need to see sin and sin’s
effects as these insulation layers that make it harder for us to be sensitive
to God’s love.
Being regular at Confession helps us in manifold ways. It helps us to be conscious of the small ways
that we may have set up these ‘insulating’ layers in our life to keep us
further, as it were, from God and his grace.
Small sins, habitual things that keep us entrenched on ourselves and the
ways that we give in to our ego needs may not be huge sins in themselves, but
they do add up and when left unchecked, can become the gateways to the larger
and more serious ways that we end up sinning.
Maybe an analogy may help here.
When we are in a state of grace, we are facing God and looking at him
directly. Sanctifying grace helps us to
do that. Sins cause us to lose this loving
gaze that we have on God’s divine face.
Minor sins are the ways that our eyes are averted and when we look
obliquely. When the sins are a bit more
grave and serious, our head is turned slightly away from God. Major sins or what the church calls Mortal
sins are those sins that cause us to not only turn our heads, but our entire
bodies away from God and when we show him our backs. We have, in effect, literally turned our
backs to God.
The Fathers of the Church have always encouraged the use of a daily
examen of conscience as a daily and regular guide to check where we stand in
the way that we relate with God, not unlike the way that soldiers in parade
formation check their dressing by casting a glance over their left shoulder to
spot the position of the soldier’s shoulder standing on right next to
them. Just as looking at their marching
partner’s shoulder keeps them in line, looking at the list of the daily examen
points helps to keep us in line with God’s call to a sanctified life.
I am appending below a helpful list that any serious penitent can go
through to make a daily or weekly examination of conscience. It is not a comprehensive list, but I believe
that it helps those who are keen on making confession regular to look deeper
into their lives so that they can better benefit from the grace that comes with
celebrating the Sacrament with better preparation.
A short Examination of Conscience
•
When was my last good Confession? Did I receive Communion or other
sacraments in the state of mortal sin? Did I intentionally fail to confess some
mortal sin in my previous Confession?
•
Did I seriously doubt my faith or put myself in danger of losing my faith
through readings hostile to Catholic teachings or involvement in non-Catholic
sects? Did I engage in superstitious practices: palm-reading, fortune telling,
etc.?
•
Did I take the name of God in vain? Did I curse, or take a false oath?
Did I use improper language?
•
Did I miss Mass on Sundays or holy days of obligation through my own
fault, without any serious reason? Did I keep fast and abstinence on the
prescribed days?
•
Did I disobey my parents and lawful superiors in important matters?
•
Did I hate or quarrel with anyone, or desire revenge? Did I refuse to
forgive? Did I hurt or cause to kill someone? Did I get drunk? Did I take
illicit drugs? Did I consent to, recommend, advise or actively take part in an
abortion?
•
Did I wilfully look at indecent pictures or watch immoral movies? Did I
read immoral books or magazines? Did I engage in impure jokes or conversations?
Did I wilfully entertain impure thoughts or feelings? Did I commit impure acts,
alone or with others? Did I take contraceptive or abortifacient pills or use
other artificial means in order to prevent conception?
•
Did I steal or damage to another’s property? How much? Have I made reparation
for the damages done? Have I been honest in my business relations?
•
Did I tell lies? Did I sin by calumny, or detraction telling the unknown
grave faults of others without necessity, even if they are true? Did I judge
others rashly in serious matters? Have I tried to make restitution for the bad
reputation I caused?
If
you remember other serious sins besides those indicated here, mention them in
your Confession.”
Dear Fr Luke
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for this post.
While you did not mention to reflect on the frequency of the sins in all areas, you included ‘How much?’ in the stealing or damage of another’s property. The former would be no less grievous and offensive than the latter and potentially adds even more insulating layers. Why and does quantum calls for more reflection than frequency?
Thank you for your question, and I think it is a very relevant and helpful one for many Catholics who want to benefit in the best way from this Sacrament. While it is true that I may not have mentioned that we should tell the Priest how frequently we have committed the sin being confessed, it is just as important as including details, like the amount when confessing the sin of theft.
DeleteThe help that comes to us as penitents coming to Confession is two-fold. One of which, of course, is having our sins forgiven by the Priest who stands in the person of Christ in the Sacrament. The second help that comes to us is that it should help us identify the areas in our lives that trip us up, or where we are prone to giving in to sin. It is in this area that the information that we bring to the confessor matters.
Let us take the sin of stealing. While it is a sin, it becomes much more grave and mortal if it is embezzling 5 million dollars as compared to a one-off taking of a 5 dollar note from the family petty cash that is placed in the cookie jar. And if one confesses having disobeyed one’s parents, the gravity of the sin against the 4th commandment, what makes the sin more or less grave would be the age of the penitent and what the nature of this disobedience was. A 4 year old child who is willful and disobedient is counseled very differently from a 40 year old who goes against the advice of his loving parents to not go partying five nights a week and coming home at 3am inebriated. Compare this to a 60 year old who doesn’t comply with his elderly parents’ request for some financial help to have three decent meals each day. In a way, they are all sins against the 4th commandment, but the gravity of the sin isn’t the same.
What many penitents struggle with is habitual sins, and it is particularly in this case that the number of times one gives in to such temptations will give us confessors a good idea of how much one really tries to fight against giving in to the sin, or how mired one is in the sin, affecting one’s freedom and also one’s culpability.
I hope this helps.
Fr Luke