When the unexpected happens to us in life, it really isn't as bad as many may think.

I know that many parishioners who personally know me through my serving them as a priest have been praying for me as the days progress toward my planned surgery to replace the empty parts of my skull with two PEEK plates that are coming in from Switzerland happens.  This was arranged for me by the dextrous surgeons who in the last part of May 2021 performed the surgery to remove the two parts of my skull as they realised that the two parts of my skull were bleeding from the accident that occured to me while I was exercising early on 24 May.  I have no recollection of that accident having happened.  All I can recall is that one day I woke up after the surgery happened in Tan Tock Seng Hospital.

And I am profoundly grateful to my parishioners and friends who have been praying almost incessantly for the success of the second operation, after which I will slowly recover and get back into parish life to served them as one of their priests in the Immaculate Heart of Mary parish in Singapore.  Knowing that there are many who are praying for the intervention of the Holy Spirit as the surgery progresses gives me a tremendous amount of confidence.  The original date of the surgery was slated to be Thursday, 24 September, and it is also the feast day of St Padre Pio, whom many are praying to for his intercession for me.

I had set my heart on undergoing that complex surgery but I had also been nursing a coughing bout that was accompanied by the expectoration of thick phlegm.  On Friday, 17 September, I had an appointment to see the surgeon at the hospital for the pre-surgery interview where there was an analysis done to me to see if I was suitable and ready for the surgery on 24 September.  It was there that the anesthesiologist had a one to one with me and my brother, and patiently explained to us that with the state of cough that my body is going through, it is unwise to carry on with the surgery on 24 September.  There are complications that can result if what is infecting my lungs with this bout of flu affects my recovery process post surgery, and suggested (with consultation with his senior surgeons) that the surgery now be moved to a later date instead.  It will now most probably happen sometime in October to keep my post0surgery condition controllable and not be complicated due to me infecting the process of recovery.

I will admit that it sounded like a very positive thing that the surgeon was making with this arrangement.  Understandably, when I informed some friends of the movement of the ate, they were visibly disturbed and showed great concern for me.  I kept assuring them that this was most probably moved in order for me, the patient, to benefit in a better way post-surgery.

There will e moments in life when the things we have either been planned for or the things that we have planned for, get affected by a change of date.  It is tempting to blame anyone, including God, when such things happen to our plans in life. but this would be a dangerous thing to do.  God is ultimately in charge of what happens to us, and if the dates and time table changes, it is best to believe that God has allowed it to happen.  Blaming God with disdain impacts negatively our faith life, and ultimately our relationship with God.

There are many feast days that the church celebrates and observes in the month of October, and one of them is 18 October, which is the feast of my patron Saint, St Luke the evangelist.  I would have no qualms if the surgery is moved to that date.  I would be submitting myself to the patronage of my own patron saint who has walked with me through the many ups and downs if my personal life.

Other notable feasts in October are 2 October of the memorial of the Holy Guardian Angels, 4 October, the memorial of St Francis of Assisi, and 7 October, which is the memorial of Our Lady of the Rosary.

The hope of the surgeon is that as my coughing fit heals and I recover from it, there should be about a 14 day period where my body isn't plagued with the flu bug and they can carry on the planned surgery without the danger of my causing infection to my healing.  I even had to undergo a chest X-ray at the hospital just to be sure that my lungs are clear within.  I will only know the new date as the results of the tests that were done emerge.  Right now, the date of the surgery is still not confirmed.

Do I hope that my parishioners and friends will continue to pray for the success of my surgery?  I certainly hope so.  Nothing gives a patient who is undergoing an extensive surgery more that the confidence that those who know him are praying earnestly for his recovery and the deft skills of the surgeons.

Now, each day that progresses, I am constant in taking the medications that were administered to me by he doctor I went to see when the coughing started.  I am also praying daily for the help of both Mother Mary and the Holy Spirit to help me in my path out of the coughing and the amount of phlegm that inhabits my lungs.

If you whoa re reading this blog are one of my friends who are assisting me in prayer, thank you so much.  And may God gibe you the grace to continue in your prayer for me and give you the grace to continue in your prayer for me and for the success of the upcoming surgery to my skull.  Till I see you again after recovering from the work of the surgeons' hands, I want to wish you the choicest blessings from God.

 

 When thing are not improving in life, does it mean that God is not working in and through us?

 

Anyone who is in some state of illness or suffering can come to the conclusion that just because things are not improving in life, that God has not worked in and through them in the way that many Spiritual writers had written about.

 

This of course, is a wrong conclusion, because it doesn’t mean that because one’s state in life has come to some standstill, that God has also faded into the background in life.  Our faith reminds us that God is constantly at work in our lives, and it shows in the fact that many of us are not really in a state of sustained suffering.  But this doesn’t mean that just because our state of suffering in life has come to a standstill, that it means that God too, has come to a certain standstill.  He does sustain us in each day of our lives, giving us the means to stay alive and to testify to his presence in our very lives.  

 

Yes, of course it can be tempting to make that judgment that God has removed himself from our lives if our state of suffering has somehow maintained through time.  No one rightly delights in suffering, even though many of the heroic martyrs in the history of the Church can testify that God had been with them even though their lives were a struggle of some sort.  

 

Why I am writing this reflection

 

I am writing this rumination on suffering because my body and its state of suffering in life has been extended since coming out of the hospital after the surgery to remove two plates of bone that covered my frontal lobe of the skull.  I am experiencing weakness in a physical way, and though I am trying my best to activate my life through the exercises that were introduced to me by my physiotherapy doctor, parts of my body tend to be aching in a disturbing way.  Does this mean that I am giving up?  Definitely not.  I will pursue in my activation of my life so that my body can enter into a state of repair and recovery.  

 

I do believe that God is providing me his Holy Spirit to get through each day in my life right now, and giving up on this can end up to be a disaster for me, both as a Singaporean and an ordained priest of the Catholic Church.  There are so many people who are constantly asking me how I am feeling, and all I can say is that my body is still in a state of disrepair.  There is nothing else to add to the reality.  It can end up with the listeners thinking I have given up, when it really isn’t the case at all.  

 

I am thankful for the many saints of the Church who had gone through suffering in many ways but always with a look of valiance and hope because of their belief in God.  Many had prayed for the intercession of the heroic saints in the likeness of Mary Immaculate, St Monica and her son, St Augustine.  I too resort to praying to them for their saintly intercessions.  Of course, the mysteries of the Holy Rosary help us to meditate on the sufferings which Our Lord went through to show great love for his Heavenly Father, in union with the Holy Spirit.

 

Perhaps it is timely for those who have been praying for me to recover to pray to those saints and to have a strong devotion to Our Blessed Mother.  This will end up strengthening our faith and to make us testimonials of heroic power in the providence of God.  I too, offer my daily sufferings for the benefit of the many souls who are suffering in many ways these days of the COVID pandemic.  It makes my daily struggles something worth going through in life.