There is a common misconception about how we as human beings define usefulness and helpfulness in life. Many, if not all of us, think that it is only when we can actually do something positive in our actions, or say something brilliant and good, that we are contributing to the goodness in the life of others, or to the world at large.
While this may be true in many ways, it makes us almost useless and even a bother in so many different situations in life. We want to be seen as effective and clever by others, but isn’t it true that so often, when things go awry in the lives of so many people, we fall so far short of brilliance, usefulness and helpful. Take the example of the demise of someone we know and love. In the face of the pain and agony of their family and loved ones, there really is nothing we can say to them that can assuage the gaping hole of loss and torment that fills their hearts at that moment. We put so much emphasis on our activity to present to others our elan and compassion, and we hardly think anything positive in our passivity. But this is because we do not think that passivity has anything good in itself.
We just have to look at the way that Jesus Christ lived his life during his three years of active ministry as a human being two thousand years ago. True, while he was alive and in active ministry, he preached both by word and by example. He healed the sick, exorcised those possessed by evil spirits, multiplied loaves and fish to feed thousands, and raised the dead to life. St John is clear when he said that if every detail and teachings of Jesus were written down, the world could not contain the books that would be written. This is found in John 21:25.
St John wasn’t just exaggerating something. He was saying something so true, but so many do not grasp the essence of his words. St John was really saying that there is an amazing positivity not just in Jesus’ activity, but also in his passivity.
In my experience of a shepherd of souls in my priestly ministry, there are times when I find myself unable to say or do anything to positively show my parishioners that I care for them and their wellbeing. So many times, I have been physically present at the death bed of the relative of my parishioners, and as they were literally at death’s doorstep, with the ECG machine hardly registering signs of a healthily beating heart, all I could do at that moment was just stand there and sometimes, reach out and hold their weak and cold hands in silence. I wished I could do more, but at that moment, it was all that I could do. Was I just being so passive in my silence? Could I have done more?
The most powerful and life-contributing parts of Jesus’ life in Jerusalem was not only when he was talking and moving, and manifesting powerful and amazing miracles in front of his disciples and followers. The last three days of Jesus’ life was when he was silent, arrested, tortured, handcuffed, put on trial, scourged and finally crucified. There was no physical activity that was seen in Jesus. Yet, all that was done to Jesus on those three days leading up to his gruesome death on Calvary were a manifestation of his passivity, and it was this passivity that finally brings the greatest power to the world mired in sin and selfishness – it was the power of life over the seeming unsurmountable power of death.
A married couple’s love for each other is beautifully conveyed when love letters are written, or when they say sweet and heartwarming words to one another. While that is good, there is also the misunderstood power of mere presence to one another, with no words coming out from their mouths. In times of great torment and agony in life, sometimes words just cannot convey what our hearts are emoting. These are the times when our silent presence communicates that we care and love the people that we stand before. Just showing up conveys so much.
In those times, it takes tremendous courage to just show up. The courage of Jesus to show up at the trial and torment of the agony of the road up to Calvary is astounding. It is to our detriment that we downplay so much in the power of our passivity in life. We put too much emphasis on the activity of our lives, and when we do this, we miss the power and strength that comes from our passivity too.
I listen to various genres of music, and sometimes, it is the depth of the simple words that strike me as both true and beautiful as well. One of the songs that does this is the song written and made popular by Ronan Keating, entitled When You Say Nothing at All. Summarized, the contents of the lyrics convey that there are times in life when we convey our deepest and heartfelt emotions and sentiments when we say nothing at all. The opening lines are a great revelation of our passivity. Ronan sings “It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart. Without saying a word, you can light up the dark.”
It’s a nice precis of what this blog entry is trying to say. We think that it is only by our activity that shows how powerful we are. But sometimes, the opposite is true. And in those times, we too say it best, when we say nothing at all.
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